jakesucks

On my drive home today I did a mini reflection of my year. The words I can use to describe it are limitless but for the sake of what I'm thinking about, Ill choose 'driving'. One full Euro tour, two full U.S. tours, consistent drives to Detroit each week, and even and handful of Grand Rapids trips to top it off. Plenty of time on the road. Depending on who you ask, spending majority of your year in a car can easily be mistaken for a waste. Well waste or not, Ive fell in love with all of it. The hours of driving, gas stations, being able to listen to a record front to back, and just having enough time to sort your thoughts.

This time last year, I was getting everything sorted to leave the country.. I wish I had anything going on that I could remotely look forward to like that. I'm hoping I can make my way back up this tour ladder. Being home doesn't cut it for me if that's the only place I'll be.

I'm fine with being a loser. I just wish it was out there.

Not trying to get too dark here.. but isn't life just a filler until we die? That's what Ive had in my head all day long. I'm afraid something like school debt or some bullshit 9 to 5 is going to consume it and next thing I know.. I'm tired and this is all over analyzed anxiety but that's what I have this online journal for anyways. right? All I want when I'm old is to sit and be able to indulge someone with all Ill have to say about what Ive done and what Ive learned. Talking about Delta college or being a manager at Old Navy will only bore the both of us. I feel like even the slightest degree of this thought process tends to make people nervous. Its fine.. it makes me nervous too.

I miss having a conversation. Which is why I'm typing one out to myself. ha. The number of people who care what I have to say seems to decrease over time. Meh..

I really am happy! For the most part anyway. Shits not supposed to go your way.. and I think I'm fine with that. I'm going to do something of worth this next year. It probably wont be conventional. Probably wont look good on paper. Probably wont put money in my bank. But I'll definitely remember it.. that's what makes it so exciting.

In response to a seperate post..bololololo

Morrissey- You are the Quarry