I'm so frustrated with my small situation I'm stuck in right now. I'm running on windows 2000 and pretty much everything Ive got for Christmas requires an OS that isn't old as piss.. To me, updating my entire computer sounds like a huge risky commitment. I need to do it though. Aye Corrumba. I just want to be able to hook up a printer and get some stuff to make stencils. Its not a tall order by any means!

I just got a gym membership which I'm pretty excited about. Exercise is great.. But, working out just isn't as therapeutic for me as it used to be in high school. You could definitely see that as good or bad in certain ways. I'm allowed to settle in the gray area from time to time. Ive just leaned towards things more..can i say.. emotionally stimulating? (that looks dumb typed out. ill roll my eyes at it later) Just seemingly insignificant stuff like; making patches, watching movies, learning something new, and even staring through my computer screen when music is playing, has never gotten me so excited as it has been lately. It's an awesome feeling. I want to share it with someone. Or at least try to get them on muh level.

Talked with a good friend of mine, last night, who I rarely get to see. We always seem to feed off of each others stories, outlooks, and overall attitude, any time we talk. Even in a passing conversation with this guy I feel like I learn something about him and myself alike. Last night proved that affect was still in motion.


Ive strayed away from this printer bullshit long enough. I need to figure it out. I need put in a movie instead of getting distracted by the interwebz.


Unwed Sailor- Faithful Anchor

On my drive home today I did a mini reflection of my year. The words I can use to describe it are limitless but for the sake of what I'm thinking about, Ill choose 'driving'. One full Euro tour, two full U.S. tours, consistent drives to Detroit each week, and even and handful of Grand Rapids trips to top it off. Plenty of time on the road. Depending on who you ask, spending majority of your year in a car can easily be mistaken for a waste. Well waste or not, Ive fell in love with all of it. The hours of driving, gas stations, being able to listen to a record front to back, and just having enough time to sort your thoughts.

This time last year, I was getting everything sorted to leave the country.. I wish I had anything going on that I could remotely look forward to like that. I'm hoping I can make my way back up this tour ladder. Being home doesn't cut it for me if that's the only place I'll be.

I'm fine with being a loser. I just wish it was out there.

Not trying to get too dark here.. but isn't life just a filler until we die? That's what Ive had in my head all day long. I'm afraid something like school debt or some bullshit 9 to 5 is going to consume it and next thing I know.. I'm tired and this is all over analyzed anxiety but that's what I have this online journal for anyways. right? All I want when I'm old is to sit and be able to indulge someone with all Ill have to say about what Ive done and what Ive learned. Talking about Delta college or being a manager at Old Navy will only bore the both of us. I feel like even the slightest degree of this thought process tends to make people nervous. Its fine.. it makes me nervous too.

I miss having a conversation. Which is why I'm typing one out to myself. ha. The number of people who care what I have to say seems to decrease over time. Meh..

I really am happy! For the most part anyway. Shits not supposed to go your way.. and I think I'm fine with that. I'm going to do something of worth this next year. It probably wont be conventional. Probably wont look good on paper. Probably wont put money in my bank. But I'll definitely remember it.. that's what makes it so exciting.

In response to a seperate post..bololololo

Morrissey- You are the Quarry

I need to find better ways to keep my mind preoccupied. My life gets sadder and sadder with every click around the interwebz. This also leads me to picking up the phone.. which is genuinely the last thing I want to do but next thing I know.. shit is already sent.

Not to start citing bands, but my life really is like a bad movie. I'm not going to say its sad or tragic by any mean. I'm not THAT dramatic of a person. But its late and that means its prime time for an half hearted vent..
I mean bad movie in the sense where the story is just all together poorly written. The title makes little sense. Things are left out of the story and the filler scenes are just slow and obnoxious. The actors/actresses all have potential, but are pigeon holed into some unjust role where there is little room to grow. The end leaves alot of open ended, unanswered questions, but the sequal is the last thing on my list of films to see. Roll Credits.

But hey, the soundtrack is exceptional. XD


Laura Stevenson & the Cans- A Record



Courtesy of Ryan Felton.

Oh no.. so I'm sitting at Josh's and I see his dormant ps2. 'Let me borrow that!'.. Its been a while since Ive been committed to any sort of video game or even television show for that matter. I'm afraid as soon as this blog is finished and I start re-playing Final Fantasy X (no blame for judging), its gonna be all over. I need to keep an open head and open schedule for other real things in my life or else Im wheat toast(need to watch simple carbs).

I cant stand weird moods. Its such a waste of time, but there's very little you can really do about it for the most part. For being a self proclaimed 'care free' person, I can really get tangled up in whats going through other peoples heads. Nothing good comes of it and I just slip deeper into a weird mood. Ive been trying to talk my way around it all day. My one phone buddy is a-wall doing things with her life and its sort of leaving a slight void in my day.. With the most light-hearted dose of weirdness; I think it may have been the cause to my mood being out of equilibrium. You're the only one who openly reads this stinkin' blog so I'm sure you'll be forced to hear me talk about it at some point soon. Right?

I'm ready for winter to be over. Nothing comes of it but cold weather and cold feelings. Not including stocking stuffers. Off to RPG myself into a coma.


Cursed- One

Im home..

..Only from Lansing, but it feels like Ive been gone forever! Fun does the recording trip little justice but Ill use it for modesty's sake. Im in love with making new friends, stepping up from acquaintance status with some, and just being slap happy with the old friends. I feel that most can be on my level with that. So many walls were broken down ranging from personal relationships to our punk rock. The jams turned out great, but still a ton of work to do. Looking forward to every part of it.

While we were there, we went to the bar. Now, don't get me wrong.. I'm in a good mood so read this with more of a curious tone than a critical one.

I just don't really get it. All week long you just work and work til its the weekend. You spend an hour getting ready, putting on your best outfit, to go to some place wear you get beer spilled on you and the smell of smoke fused with your clothes. Maybe, if you're lucky, some guy will look at someone the wrong way and a fight breaks out where everyone can stampede over your girlfriend to go watch it. Youll spend an absurd amount of money getting hammered so you can try and dance on some sleezy chick.. but she is just there to dance with her "girlfriends". (please dont mistake that for a personal experience). Guys come up to you in there unbuttoned pastel shirts and play ANY game they find suitable to get you home. This could potentially ruin your fun when all you want to do is hangout with your gf's. I guess you can dance? You wake up the next day feeling like garbage and consider it a good night. Then the cycle starts over.

Maybe that's ok, and I just don't understand it fully. I have plenty of friends who hit the bar but it just seems like if I try and show some interest as to why they would look at me like I'm clueless. I'm the minority. Someone.. anyone for the most part.. can approach me and ask about my lifestyle and Id be able to explain it in full. No one can seem to give me a reason to this kinda stuff.

I probably shouldnt worry about it but sometimes I get a little bored. Are they just bored with life? Should I give it a whirl? Of course not..

Ok. I owe someone a phonecall.

Listening to the new jams but Ill share it later.

No Control is recording in East Lansing this weekend! Live drums for once in my stinkin life. Im super excited but all shades of nervous. Ive been dying to record live drums for forever now. Since the PI! I guess. hehe.

Ive done nothing but search for plane tickets, fold clothes, search for more tickets, today. Slightly exhausting. Tomorrow, I get to help my father paint a living room while watching Malcom in the Middle. Fun stuff if you know me or my father.

I need to get back to making patches. Christmas is coming soon!! OO OO OO OO

Watching

Over the course of a couple days, Ive watched some considerably heavy flicks. One being 'Dangerous lives of altar boys' and the other being the new release 'Funny People'. I was completely wrapped up in both to a point where I had to tell myself to chill out. Is it a whole new level in my nerd metamorphoses where Im just completely moved by movies? I guess Hollywood is doing its job, right? Recommend both flicks.

I wish I had better structure when it came to song writing. Shit, better structure when it comes to everything in my life while were at it. Probably like one out of every six songs ill be satisfied enough to share with Danny. I blame Synt for my linear song writing. Well, I guess PI! wasnt very verse chorus at all now that i think about it. Picking up the esteban to write skate thrash after this post.

There are a few people in my picture that are a little down on life. I need to take focus off of sleeping in as well as random internet bullshit and direct towards these people. They listen to, and alleviate enough of my small problems where I want to start giving them more.

So much driving in my future months. My poor van is going to off itself. Lets hope it does it in my driveway.


Tegan and Sara- Sainthood

So I havent made an entry in a while it feels like. As of late Ive been trying super hard to not waste so much time on the internet. In lieu of the web, Ive done plenty of christmas shopping, diy gifts, movies, and thanksgiving dinners. Id say its been a semi productive week with some confidence. I slept in til three today. Gross.

All Ive been thinking about is thrashing. Its shaping up to look like i wont be playing a show until January. A month has never seemed so far away. Oi. However, im more than excited to play the shows lined up. One show even gets to be in Bay City. Dare I invite my mother? Shed love to see me play, but its just funny to think she probably cant stand any of it. How can I blame her, right?

I mean.. thats about it. I wish i had more to blog about, but unfortunately I seem to be drawing a blank on what to say. Next time will make up for it. i hope?


Blacken the Skies

I don't think I've felt this exhausted in a while.. Contrary to my normal day, which consists mainly of sitting in front of the computer in between stringing christmas lights, Ive got a laundry lists of tasks completed. Well, its not that much compared to motivated people. I woke up to a phone call, from my father, seeking some help. So I went and did some roofing (manly i know). Finally sold my drums! WEEW!

The show mentioned in a previous post was a great time! Was PI! good? Of course not. Was it fun playing? Of course it was. Tons of faces and senses of humor that I don't get to see often enough. It was a nice reminder that I do have friends. I just never hang out with them? We should work on that. This just gets me even more excited for kickball tomorrow!

Not to trail off on boring shit. But man, I'm so hungry. I almost grabbed some ramen but i refrained.. fuck it im gonna go make it. I lost this time...
I don't think I've ever been disappointed in something tasting good until now. Self control back on tomorrow.

One last thought.. Anyone care to explain this new trend that's swept kids by storm? Its called getting engaged, maybe you've heard of it. I'm not the arch enemy of happiness. No way. I'm not against loving someone, or the uncontrollable urge to be with someone. Things of that nature are crucial for living a sane life. But getting married?! There are too many other ways to live forward thinking, adult lives that don't include a wedding date. Most of my references haven't even dated more than two years let alone lived together for a weekend. There's so much more to being with someone that I think people are choosing to skip over. Whatever floats your romantic boat I guess *slurps the last of the broth*.

Sorry if this post is a tlnr case. I tried to keep it short. Snagged this record off the board today. Enjoyed it.

The Avette Brothers- I and Love and You

10 o' clock Thursday and Im as bored as Ill ever be. Josh is with the squeeze leaving me virtually friendless. hah. I asked Rick for a session of Halo and Slayer so maybe he'll bite on the idea. If that falls through, I will proceed headbanging at my desk. My 'Old Navy' hours have been drastically cut on account of all the seasonal help we've just hired. Just when i was starting to actually tolerate, maybe even enjoy, working. I should probably just man up and demand more. Knowing me, Ill be calling people to pick my shifts up. Aye yai yai.

On a positive note, tomorrow is shaping up to keep me busy. I think I may have sold my old kit via craigslist! So, Josh and I are heading to Flint to try and make something happen. I could definitely use the little financial cushion itd give me, even if I have to dish out all my earnings to according people. I could and should probably wrangle up some things i could potentially sell. What do I need things for anyway? Do I even have things? Not really.. Outside of that, there's a cheap hardcore show going on in Bay City tomorrow! Cheap and hardcore: you cant go wrong with either. Good ol' Punch-It! will be on the show, playing along with Fight It Out and others I dont feel like typing. PI! is such a double edged sword for everyone in it *laughs quietly to self*. I mean.. im stoked to play a show.. just wish it was with one of the other thousand projects im a part of. Oh well. Excited to be a part of this show none the less. HIYA!

Someone needs to call me or show up with candy or fight me or something.


Trial- Are these our lives?

A couple months back, a friend from NC called me in search of help for his band. They were in the midst of booking a diy tour and looked to me for help in Michigan. I jumped at the chance to help them of course! My feelings was what seemed like long roller coaster ride of stoked, frustrated, worry, stoked. It didnt seem like a Bay City show would be possible so I asked Nick Fonzi to help me find a house show for them in Ferris. So Josh, Matt, Kyle and I loaded up the Dodge and headed to Big Rapids. The story ends with a house bursting at the seems due to a hodge podge of drunk college kids. People were jumping off the roof, chugging/punching bags of wine, screaming ccr covers, and stealing cider and Applejacks(me). Did the cops end up shutting the party down? Totally. All the bands played so I didnt give a shit what happened after that.

I have this really accomplished feeling knowing I was able to help throw a friend's band an exceptionally good show. Ive never done anything that hands on before for the most part. Helping with the music community is really important to me. I feel like I proved that to myself a little this weekend.

The rest of the weekend has consisted of straight chilling which is exactly what I want. Cupcakes, Dominoes, movies, good stuff in my opinion. I had gone and seen the new Christmas Carol last night and was not impressed. If its an animated movie, Id really like to see a little more... animation. Now, Im going to be playing the role of the big brother and go watch my sister play some basketball. I hope my dad is there to yell at 13 year old girls he doesnt know. That guy is awesome like that.


Funny Like a Funeral- Evolve to Counteract

I dont plan on sitting here all night and venting about how i hate everything because thats just not fun for anyone. However, it seems like anytime i get two steps ahead Im forced to take one step back. Its discouraging when you cant go a month without something taking a financial on you.. siigh. I cant let it ruin my whoole night but I can allow myself to pout a litte. right?

OK, Ill stop with that nonsense. Tonight ended with a very sporadic tune. One you can circle pit too! Josh and I decided last minute thatd itd be a good idea to go over to Ricks and set my drums up in his room. The night ensued with Soap, Rick, and I cranking out fast jamz while Josh played halo. I can never make a sweet face. Ever.

Party time. \m/(-_-)\m/

Well, tomorrow now consists of going to buy a stinkin' new tire and potentially going into work later than expected. Not like being late for work is all that big of deal to me. I was just self satisfied with me starting to like the hours. Apparently, I hear there is a cheap tire place in Saginaw. Excuse to get Qdoba? I think so!


Brand New- Daisy


http://www.mediafire.com/?2zdjqmunwom

Top Five

Tonight, I'm scoping through old live journal entries with Sami and am doing nothing but groaning out loud at me being an ass via posts. I cant wait to for five years to fly by so I can reference these posts and remember what a bored loser I was. Hey Jake2015, Its me. Right now your only friends are movie forums and porn. Youre tight.(?)

So, in honor of being embarrassed reading my old LJ posts. Here are five of some the top embarrassing moments in my life.

1) In eigth grade, I farted during silent ball..

2) About a month ago, I was playing halo in josh's basement and made an absurd, offensive outburst (will not type here) only to find his mother behind me..

3) Around the time of fourth/fifth grade, I was trying to conversation with Tori Foco, this girl who i had crushed on at the time. While trying to be smooth and sociable, I knocked over a full can of pepsi all over her. This situation occured on rollerblades..

4) Punch-It!..

5) Freshmen year orientation, my mother and I decided to race back to the car. I tripped her and she hit the ground and all the papers went flying. It was pretty funny until we got home and she proceeded to beat me up in front of my fathers friends. They were amused..

its me against the world!

watching

12:46. I look at my AIM conversations and feel like I need to be doing something to take up my grossly excessive amount of time. Taking college classes to be specific. Im letting the ever dreaded social norm chip away at me. Im sure when i wake up tomorrow Ill be over the idea.

I look up at my posters and thats really all i think about doing. Well.. ok.. i know being a part of the Xmen is a little far off but being back on tour is a total reality. I just need to find the right opportunity i suppose.? I need to play shows before I go nuts is the bottom line!

Ive been in GR all week and am pretty exhausted becuase of it. Tomorrow consists of a TOYS R' US sale and QDOBA with Nap and Josh. Get on my level with that!


Obituary- Slowly we rot


http://www.mediafire.com/?jozinybzoyt

top 5 of the w33k!

I thought itd be appropriate to do horror flicks. It was alot harder than i thought(what she said) to pick favorites so here are just five bad ass ones. In no particular order:




Watch one or all of these over the weekend. Get into the holiday!!@!#1

I love everything about Halloween. Looking back I wish I wasnt so into wearing masks when i was a kid and would have done more homemade costumes. Guess Ill have to make up for it in my loser adult life.. Josh, Katie and I will be spending the weekend in Grand Rapids doin' some evil shit! Im gonna put on Fright Night and pack my bag. 666.

Mid Sunday. Just sitting around being a degenerate like always. Ive been having too much fun this past weekend and the thought of work tomorrow is bumming me right out.

The haunted house in Munger was really fun. Im pleased that I allowed myself to let go and get freaked out...or maybe Im just a baby to begin with. Afterward, I watched Childsplay..oh man. Childsplay has always been the one horror movie to haunt me since i was five. Im talking reoccurring nightmare type deal. The dream went as follows(recalling from early childhood); Im in a basement and there are are tons of white bed sheets hanging up to dry. I dont actually see Chucky but only his silhouette on the other side of these sheets taunting me and threatening to kill me. Fun stuff..


Mammoth Grinder- Rage and Ruin


http://www.mediafire.com/?eddrmoy4v4o

Trick 'r Treat!!

After three years of this critically acclaimed movie sitting unreleased and collecting dust(due to its numerous murder of children under 18), it was finally put out this October straight to dvd. I watched the newly released "Trick 'r Treat" twice now, and Ive decided that I genuinely love everything about it! Micheal Dougherty has accomplished an awesome balance of a John Carpenter flick mixed with an R.L. Stein Goosebumps short.

I get tired of seeing excessive gore trying to be played off as "horror"(i.e. the saw and hostel dynastys, etc). I wont act like some old fashioned tasteless violence doesn't beef up a horror flick, because it definately can. However, I'm not impressed when the entire movie is based around trying to make the girl next to me in the theater throw up. This movie skips over all that and goes for a more classic feel.

With its tongue in cheek humor and well thought out weaving of four separate storylines, "Trick 'r Treat" is an awesome example of what a Halloween movie should be. Original. Intense. Fun. Be sure to watch it!



Jamming with from hell tomorrow. I'm glad that I'm playing drums more often. Stagnation was setting it pretty quick.. Thrash! Now, off to wake someone up.

Top Five of the Week!

Youtube videos under 35 seconds.






Party.

2:34 am..

Ive come to terms that my life has been taken over by the internet and that's ok for now. With two jobs and a few music endeavors underway, Im keeping busy during the day but I always end up in front of this screen. So, in an ongoing fight against the facebook/twitter phenomena, I needed to find some way to be semi productive while online. Blogspot may do the trick.

Between the show tonight and the skatejam tomorrow, this weekend going to be full of familiar faces. Nine times out of ten things like familiar faces, music, smells, etc., seem to put me at ease. Im sure alot of people wouldn't hesitate to agree. The entire month of October is shaping up to be one of my more exciting months in a long time. Gates night im gonna be circle pitting the streets of GR in an undead fashion for their zombie walk! Keep up! Between that, z rated slashers, Halloween shows, and parties, Im going to be thrashin all month long \m/.

All in all, Im hoping that being able to read back any thoughts and opinions I have will help me gain a little more footing on my sense of self. It's something we all need to do. Feelings aside Im looking forward to posting about films, music, and comics too! Somewhere down the line I became a huge nerd. First blog over. Seeyaaaa

Osker- Idle will Kill


http://www.mediafire.com/?ndkytiirmzi